What function do these degenerates fulfill? What is their purpose?
This is exactly what I needed. Thank you!! I made myself dumb for a reason. It is maintain a low profile. Lower beings will not perceive me for what I am anyway, they do not deserve to know who or what I am. They will see me under their own terms and they might as well defile me while they're at it. And besides, those who can understand me will see right through this anyway.
I don't get what the heck is up with this epidemic of heart-wrenching, soul-crushing ignorance but it is what it is.
I think what I should do is maintain the strategy under the context you've mentioned rather than apply it to my whole being. The problem is that, by applying it to my whole being, I also restrict my assertiveness and freedom of thought. Commence rant..
This surprised me. Holy moly, this hits home for me. I have many ideological opponents and some never tire. They always come back for more, and more and more, and it drains me. From the "blind assertionist" Muslims to the "God doesn't see me" Muslims to hedonist women.
I always act dumb just to avoid ideological conflict, because it's stupid beyond belief to engage in it. It's useless, and sometimes I say we end just where we started but it doesn't even matter. There's this one person ("blind assertionist" Muslim by the way) who's been telling me to go to the gym lately but I refused on the reason that it has a hedonistic atmosphere. But god damn it's no use, I go right down to the nitty gritty but then he says things like "you haven't even tried it, why are you relying on stories" and other variants of THINK FOR YOURSELF and he's lately said "I don't get how you think" and then he tries again as if he has the upper hand! And they don't get that they are part of the dreadly apparatus that provoked me to act dumb all the time!
One of his strategies is to bring up my weaknesses, desires and bad habits as to, in his mind, debunk objective/non-personal points I bring up. I've told him that my flaws, being subjective, have no bearing on the objective points I make. But he still uses this. He also has "hope" in this wretched society and tries to provoke me to invest in it by bringing up the aforementioned weaknesses, which to me is a failed endeavor.
Some of these people are brutal, tactless and think their ignorance is their strength. They are also relentless and.. we are all on the same level playing field, as humans. This is what I mostly mean by saying "How things that don't make sense to me bear influence on me and my surroundings."
A few times, I've slipped a bit, realize my error and break down. I have, in the past, "submitted" to the inferior view, as in give in to a life-altering demand and, in another case, to "submit" to a worldview, which were very bad of me to do.
In all cases, I reverted to my original mindset. AND YET THE STRUGGLE NEVER ENDS. EVERY DAY, I THINK WE'LL REACH A CONCLUSION, AN END TO ALL THE STRUGGLE. AND YET IT IS I WHO, IF EVER, STOOPS TO THEIR LEVEL WHILE THEY STAY PUT. AND IF I REFUSE, SOME OF THEM HAVE NO QUALMS IN ABSOLUTELY DEGRADING ME. I will see to it that they recompense me for "touching my mind, fumbling in ignorance"