/b/ - Boys' Club

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December 21th @ 8pm EST - Santa Claus visits Mewch.net! (Livestream)

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Oekaki x
>What's wrong, Anon? Why are you being so quiet?
bitch im holding in my puke cuz that zit is NASTY
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Im tired i want to lay down /: can we go? theres too many people here can we go? can we nap in the car?
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ITT: Were going to go over advice and help for dealing with non-shy guys and chicks IRL

(also general advice thread)

Always masturbate before dealing the sex youre attracted to. IE: going on a date ALWAYS masturbate as close as you can to leaving to meet up. About to go to gamestop? scared big tiddy goth girl at gamestop is going to pressure you into preordering call of duty 69 dorito warfare? P O S T N U T clarity. saves you stress money and embarrassment.
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Just the opposite.

Don't fap. It will make you hornier, making it more likely for you to appear assertive and willing to go for more openings than otherwise.

Sounds like bullshit, if anything you'll appear thirstier or more kept back because of your mad desire of banging her, besides the chick will majd you horny already, you need a fap to take the edge off.
The difference between assertive and thirsty is the difference between being alpha and beta.
An alpha taking the edge off would be working against himself.
>nut before date
>post nut clarity ensues
>realize im better off not going
Okay alpha male, you have to understand this isnt for you then if you are so alpha that even masturbating before a date threatens your masculinity. this is all macho bullshit. You just assume all woman want some assertive guy trying to rape them in there sleep. Woman want someone who is confident not assertive.

Confidence =/= Assertive

Confidence can be alot of things it doesnt necessarily mean you have to insist on more opportunities of sex. In most cases showing youre get plenty of sex already shows youre desirable to other woman which is a huge turn on for them.

Beta =/= Taking things slow

Stop being an idiot.
come get tingled by a kid
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eww braces
Links dead? Can someone reup?
they work for me. They guy who runs mixtape fucks up all the time and breaks the site.
Youtube link?
my bathroom stinks like shit so i shaved in the kitchen. half the beard is probably still there and im covered in blood
Clean your bathroom
its full of my stuff that was in a junky house and got covered in the marijuana which stinks
bruh it emanates a dank aroma
idk man i have taken shits that smell better
plus i have to go places tomorrow and will either be cold or harrassed by people asking for drugs
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>neighbors (Chad and Stacy) play jungle music on their stereo
>I can hear it in my apartment and it triggers my autism
>obviously they're not popping in a CD or whatever in their stereo, they're probably streaming it over their phones
>buy a device that can jam bluetooth signals and turn it on whenever they play their shitty music
>it works!
>sometimes I don't turn it on or turn it on just for very brief periods to keep them guessing
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>implying average person is capable of thinking
for some reason most people are allergice to optimal solutions
That's a good one, but I can top it:
>be me, working at a summer camp a few years back
>my boss is a Grade A prick
>I'm not about to tell him off because I'm a little autist
>Don't have any friends, so I can't engineer some kind of revolution
>He sleeps inside an exclusive air-conditioned cabin
>Everyone else has to sleep in canvas tents that are super mildewy because he's too lazy to make sure they're maintained or stored correctly and get super hot and humid at night (fuck the midwest)
>Anyways, I sneak around outside his cabin late one night
>Open up the fuse box and shut off his air conditioning
>Hurry back to my tent and go to sleep
>Every night, I flip a coin. If it's heads, the AC turns on. If tails, he gets boiled alive.
>He's too dumb to check the fuse box, and so pays an assload of cash to get his AC replaced
>Wait a few nights after he has the new one, so he gets nice and comfortable.
>Steal the fuse and never return it
>He's too stubborn to sleep anywhere else and still too dumb to check the fuse box or suspect foul play.
>Too broke to hire an electrician because he spent so much money on the new AC
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fukin beootiful
He may have been a prick, but the real asshole here is you.
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>tfw attention whore is finally gone
what happened to him? did he get banned for posting kiddies again or did he just leave
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this is exactly what your closest female ancestor asked me yesterday
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Post three random webms from your folder and anons have to guess what kind of person you are.
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Im not even the poster but I'd curb stomp you myself if I could you ugly racist sissy psycho faggot.

You are homeless cuz your own family hates you, LOL, you should kill yourself and stop being a liability for those around you.
you have a keen interest in law enforcement, wrestling, and interior decorating.
you are high. all of the time
You are pretty shit at this.
Never been high in my life.
Why hasn't some crazy jap made a realistic porn game yet? or better yet, a life simulator that doesn't suck. VRchat and Janis VR came close but lacks graphics. Janis VR would be cool since it requires different servers to provide different rooms. Not everything is saved on one server.
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I want Rapelay in full VR+haptics

I want that with koikatu, but I wonder, would I become insane after feeling that assie so close just for it to vanish when I take off my headset?

I think so
>vr exists, allowing users to experience nearly anything, including experiences impossible to acheive in real life
<so you mean i could get laid

it be like that sometimes

or always
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i want one of these but semen-reactive
just a cute fairy sittin there till out of nowhere my load blows and it gets all flustered
There was a story an anon posted here that was really good, he is an akari poster and his story was about chewbaca and his friend on a quest to get food, they have to climb a tower and they encounter many obstacles and my memory is fuzzy so i dont remember much else but if someone could repost it here i would greatly appreciate it, i just really REALLY liked the story, it was really cute and id like to read it again, thanks in advance.
if you like it so much why didn't you archive it?
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i miss akari prime
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there was some meta canon that insinuated the writer had been around long before the akari-posting (which was started by 4chan refugees iirc)
bro its right fucking >>199145 there
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Is it moral to have sex with a woman who has a child and a husband? This woman at work is giving me weird vibes that she wants some plowing
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>who has a child
unwise, but morally ok
>and a husband
definitely immoral. only a scumfuck would knowingly cuck someone

I did it. There were no consequences for me (but it ruined the man's life). I regret it because it was immoral.

U did the right thing soldier
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Nah, my parents' marriage is of the "Ancient" Roman kind. A union of houses. Sex was secondary and when they godt bored they agreed to let each other have an affair whenever, no big deal so long as discrete and responsible, no STDs or babbys.

The Victorian Model of monogamy whereby vaginae are placed on pedestals gives the state much power. It was a magic charm spell cast on the populace post-reformation to control the minds of masses and promote repopulation after the cataclysm (caused by a comet, referenced much wizard art, see pic related). In the current cycle of civilization the wizdom of dualism and feeing the higher mind from the lesser mind are both suppressed in favour of making the ape men slaves to their Saturnian/Leaden lower selves. Therefore sexual relation was deified, made unquestionably holy for the masses. The very fact you use the term "cheating" proves it. What is it cheating at?

2 party Marriage and the monogamous relations it promotes is a form of old sex magic for control via Hierarchy approved sex. Application of specific breeding programs is possible within, but the spell is not required in an enlightened society (they can self govern). Monogamy (used to) keep women in check and afford men the tools and wealth to do so, for the creation of specialized crafts. However, parents need not be married to have children, and had it not been beneficial to marry given the social engineering enchantment spells in effect today, my parents wouldn't have wed. Machines alleviate the need for specialized workers (this always happens after a time of rebuilding).

The Lion Cub doesn't give a fuck when his dad screws the whole damn pride of lionesses. He's proud and wants to do the same someday...
You see, the females jocky for social dominance in a group, trying to access the best genetic material, but male mammal breeding strategy is to sire as many offspring as possible. This is best for genes.

"The 7 year itch" happens at about the time a young human mancub can be left alone without too much danger (it can know not to drown, and to forage safely). Humans are not a pair bonding species. They are made to fuck many partners in one life. "Cheating" is no big deal if you're enlightened. The marriage game was rigged against you in the first place, so screw it, it's unnatural, a magical construct that only has power in the minds of the brainwashed.

When the next comet comes, as it always does (look up Napoleon's Comet, the real culprit of the "war of 1812" cover story), then we'll re-emerge, pick up the pieces, and re-write history (again, to keep you ignorant about the cycle) and return to a more enlightened view of sex being as we've discovered how to preserve high technology across such natural [disaster] boundaries. The new robot race will want to come out of hiding and openly have sex with us, you see...

Sorry, no, only unenlightened mundane folks get involuntarily "stressed" over which monkeys are screwing. Never in a high tech society is it that important. It's not like the only blacksmith in town will now fail to have an apprentice... Any batch of idiots can man the robot controlled foundries.
while this makes sense, morally speaking i'd say reproduction in the first place is a bitch. the animal instincts want to do it but you are bringing a shit kid into a shit world